To Write Or… (20220929)

On National Coffee Day, I sat down this morning to do some writing. Imagine my horror as I tried to get my computer to turn on and respond only to find it unresponsive. I tried this and that, waited for minutes to see if it would react, and then just did a few more clicks and walked away thinking “I guess I won’t do any writing today.”

When the computer finally came back to life, I gave a sigh of relief (and frustration). Here I was all poised to write and my tool went down!! The travesty! The horror! The…stupidity and lack of thoughtfulness…on my part.

I do have another computer where I could have begun this essay. I do have pencils and pens and reams of paper. However, the initial plan to use this particular computer kept all those sane thoughts hidden until it came back to life! It was only then I remembered I am not “stuck” to my original plan. I am not “bound” by the ill-performance of this device.

And yet I was…and in the future, I can see this happening again. Perhaps not with a computer, perhaps with some other choice or plan. Where life throws a curve to my otherwise straight plans.

And I know I will most likely react the same way. It has been ingrained over the past 70 years.

And that’s a shame.

So much time wasted in pushing against the walls I build when seeking another, more creative way would be a better use of time.

But I am writing. I am using that infernal device. I am moving forward.

Just not as creatively and with a little bit of stress left over from the thoughts of “Oh no! will it ever work again!!”

Ah, the walls we build can be so tall, so wide and so deep that only a life event can make us see them for what they are: mental constructs we have honed through our lives.

Here’s to taking them down, brick by brick. Here’s to seeking other pathways (“road less traveled”?). Here’s to embracing the changes and finding ourselves not the walls.

Time to do some demolition…

The Seriousness of It All (20220811)

“Change Your State; Change Your Story” is often quoted by Tony Robbins and what he is talking about is a radical, physical change. The first time I heard of this was prior to attending a Tony Robbins event where my son and I got to do a “Fire Walk.” The idea is simple: if you can change the voice in the head of someone (ourselves included), then that can produce a different “story” for them. Most of the times, for permanent change this does need to be a radical, physical change but sometimes a small change can alter our view and attitude in the moment.

Image by Silvia from Pixabay

For example, using this in a restaurant, it may be as easy as using the Escape Adulthood’s “Eat Dessert First” idea…order dessert prior to the meal (you take part of the meal home in a box anyway). A server taking the order will look at you funny as they question your real meaning to see whether you meant to order it first. They will undergo a change of state (their expectations, the other voices in their head) altering their thought patterns, if only for a moment. This might be enough to get over worries, irritations with unruly customers, or other concerns, thus changing their “story” and introducing a moment of lightness in their spirit.

Image by Azmi Talib from Pixabay

Another example is to watch the people driving or riding in their cars on the highway. It is all too easy to see there are way too many serious people and not enough smiling faces on the road. Car dancing, singing (badly in my case), having strange stickers on the car, or just laughing or smiling big can change the state of other drivers. I imagine there are drivers who would not appreciate levity in the car and could get irritated at what they may take as a personal attack on their person or attitude but the few that respond…who are helped by a bit of flippancy…make it all worthwhile.

Purposeful changing the state of others will always be a two-edged sword…how much to “push” or “steer” others’ thoughts without a perceived offense or making a situation worse. So, the best idea, is to note the attitude of those around us and then focus on who we need to be to have a change of state…in ourselves. By changing our state (how we see and hear others), we can change the story for us and indirectly for others…and change it for the better. It will combat seriousness with playfulness.

That’s the whole point too: to step away, if only for a moment, from the seriousness of everything and introduce a bit of humor and light-heartedness into our lives. And because there will always be those who want to let us know how dismal and dreadful the world is; it is up to us to note their comments but keep our hearts open to possibilities.

Image by 1095178 from Pixabay

So, say “No” today to the seriousness of it all and go change the state of someone today (make it YOU first 😉).