Life Will Never Be The Same Again

Such an innocuous phrase yet so all-encompassing.

    • First kiss (pretty much first of any kind). Life Will Never Be the Same Again.
    • Winning the lottery. Life Will Never Be the Same Again.
    • Graduating from high school. Life Will Never Be the Same Again.
    • Getting your first car, if you are lucky to have one. Life Will Never Be the Same Again.
    • Going to trade school, college, or work. Life Will Never Be the Same Again.
    • Being lauded for some achievement. Life Will Never Be the Same Again.
    • The birth of your first child. Life Will Never Be the Same Again.
    • The birth of your second child. Life definitely Will Never Be the Same Again.
    • Cancer. Life Will Never Be the Same Again.
    • Coronavirus. Life Will Never Be the Same Again.
    • A car accident. Life Will Never Be the Same Again.
    • A sporting accident preventing any further participation in that sport. Life Will Never Be the Same Again.
    • A birth defect or surgery which is “granted” on a child and will require hours of parental care. Life Will Never Be the Same Again.
    • The illness or death of a parent. Life Will Never Be the Same Again.
    • The death of a child regardless of their age. Life Will Never Be the Same Again.

Yes, I realize the sequence I painted above went from things that uplift us to thoughts that weigh us down. It was intentional.

The daughter of our friends recently died. Because it is not my place to do so, I will not go into the details but suffice it to say, it was not her wish or plan. And yet, it happened. There was/is no rhyme or reason. There was/is no way to really come to grips with it.

Life Will Never Be the Same Again.

For her child, parents, sister, extended family, friends, co-workers, or anyone who knew her…

Life Will Never Be the Same Again.

And we reach for spiritual guidance and comfort, we want to know “the why” of it, we seek the arms of friends, and we sit in stupefied shock when we contemplate what has happened…and what we feel should never have happened.

Intellectually, I could use the Bridges Change/Transition curve because it depicts ANY change whether it is a job, life event or the grief of death. The shock that turns into denial which quickly spins into anger and frustration landing us in the Twilight zone of apathy, confusion, and listlessness.

And here is where so many of us get lost especially if legalities get in the way of healing. Here is where hope is a fleeting dream and life seems to have no meaning. But with the help and support of friends and family and with some personal vulnerability and expressed pain, it is possible, though bittersweet, to re-engage, to gain “excitement,” and perhaps discover a new purpose – one never anticipated.

So, our grief can ride this “transition” roller coaster. It is not a fun ride. No one asks for it. No one even wanted to get near it, but life (or death) happens and once we enter the roller coaster grief car, we must ride it because…

Life Will Never Be the Same Again.

It honestly never will… but perhaps we can envision the end of the roller coaster ride and hold on to that vision while struggling with the activity of daily living. And that breeds hope.

And as one of the lessons of the Christian Bible states “and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.” (Romans 5:5 NASB)

So, grieve now with our loss. Get angry. Shout. Cry for the life cut short. Don’t be stoic about it and hold it in…whether on paper, with friends, in nature, or with a pastor, let it out.

Because even though Life, truly, Will Never Be the Same Again, if we in turn remember the glad times, adventures, conversations, stories, accomplishments, friendships, and new life brought into this world, we can also remember that none of it would have been possible without the light of her life shining brightly in the world.

Thank you for the Gift of your time with us and Godspeed, Marie.