To Write Or… (20220929)

On National Coffee Day, I sat down this morning to do some writing. Imagine my horror as I tried to get my computer to turn on and respond only to find it unresponsive. I tried this and that, waited for minutes to see if it would react, and then just did a few more clicks and walked away thinking “I guess I won’t do any writing today.”

When the computer finally came back to life, I gave a sigh of relief (and frustration). Here I was all poised to write and my tool went down!! The travesty! The horror! The…stupidity and lack of thoughtfulness…on my part.

I do have another computer where I could have begun this essay. I do have pencils and pens and reams of paper. However, the initial plan to use this particular computer kept all those sane thoughts hidden until it came back to life! It was only then I remembered I am not “stuck” to my original plan. I am not “bound” by the ill-performance of this device.

And yet I was…and in the future, I can see this happening again. Perhaps not with a computer, perhaps with some other choice or plan. Where life throws a curve to my otherwise straight plans.

And I know I will most likely react the same way. It has been ingrained over the past 70 years.

And that’s a shame.

So much time wasted in pushing against the walls I build when seeking another, more creative way would be a better use of time.

But I am writing. I am using that infernal device. I am moving forward.

Just not as creatively and with a little bit of stress left over from the thoughts of “Oh no! will it ever work again!!”

Ah, the walls we build can be so tall, so wide and so deep that only a life event can make us see them for what they are: mental constructs we have honed through our lives.

Here’s to taking them down, brick by brick. Here’s to seeking other pathways (“road less traveled”?). Here’s to embracing the changes and finding ourselves not the walls.

Time to do some demolition…